by Voldemort
To speak of today’s Muggle youth one must first recognize how they are utterly corruptible. It’s a pity, I dare say, for their future society, but not however for opportunists, such as myself, seeking to exploit that very weakness. It’s highly amusing then that stories, such as “The Diary of a Mad Man” by the most insightful Guy de Maupassant, are probably of the most need and relevance amongst burgeoning Muggle youth. I say amusing for one could not find a piece more directly related the day-to-day struggles of these simpering beings and yet Muggles always seem to forget its message about the power of corruption and the fragility of the weak, untrained mind.
Maupassant’s piece is completely accessible and on the perfect reading level for today’s mindless youth. The vocabulary is not too large and each diary entry is organized in a fashion no longer than a tweet, rendering it impossible for those whiny sycophants to complain about its length. Nagini even skimmed it over my shoulder as I read and her reactions were, I hate to admit, a tad more in tune than my own. She noticed something beyond the delicious slaughterings of no less than five Muggles. She explained that Muggles are all born with this insatiable thirst for evil and this is made evident in Maupassant’s structuring of the text as if it were journal entries written by the main character. The main character’s descent into madness is witnessed first hand, forcing the reader to make an intimate connection as the he unravels both his mind and all justification distinguishing Muggle beings from the ravenous animals they don’t want to acknowledge themselves to be. Also, in keeping the text structured like a personal diary, one can come to the conclusion that our narrator’s fate could befall any Muggle. Each is at the same risk of becoming dangerously unhinged, of accepting the logic that “It is the law of nature [to kill]. The mission of every being is to kill; he kills to live, and he kills to kill”. To be aware of this hidden nature is to be able to exploit it in one’s enemies. The ability to manipulate one’s foes is a valuable and timeless pursuit relevant to any young Muggle adult.
For those who prefer not to dirty their own fingers and wish to take the more hands-off approach when it comes to subjection, I always suggest that they sit back and simply allow society to destroy its own people. Maupassant clearly agrees. The main character in his piece is the not the victim of some high, mighty, powerful, and beautiful dark lord but instead of his own constricting society. This “high tribunal, the upright magistrate whose irreproachable life was a proverb in all the courts of France” is held on a pedestal by his peers for handing out death sentences and yet this slaughter leads him to his crazed state. Having sentenced men to death on a scheduled basis grew not only tedious but softened him to the idea of murder. He breathes in death’s sweet air so closely that not only the rationale behind preventing oneself from murdering, but the entire system of righteousness that Muggles and fools hold in such high esteem, becomes worthless. What was the murder of his fellow man, an innocent man, when he committed hundreds of socially approved murders each day? The concept of a loss of sensitivity to violence is one that is highly prevalent in mainstream culture and relevant amongst many modern popular works of literature. For example, Lucius Malfoy recently introduced me to the most delicious series entitled The Hunger Games in which Muggle teens are forced to kill each other while the nation watches. Apart from that most delicious aspect, there is apparently a message against violence and the growing desensitization towards it (However, I could be wrong. I skipped all the nonsense in the beginning and went straight to the murders.)
Muggle youth, as well as being rather delicious as Nagini tells me, is also highly impressionable. Whether it be outside forces or if it comes from within themselves, they all seem to operate under the same stubborn blindness that impressionistic followers operate under (Really Nagini... if you think about it... they would make a wonderful asset. We could make the whole “pure blood” thing a guideline instead of an actual rule…). Forces of persuasion coming from within one’s own mind, or rather, the idea that one’s rational can’t be trusted is not only a necessary teaching but a vital one that modern literature aimed at Muggle youth seems to lack. Maupassant makes the rationale behind the narrator’s logic completely sound when it comes to justifying murder. He also mocks this “sound rationale” when it comes to judging another being’s character. The Muggles of the magistrate’s world never seem to question the logic of the system: that a judge could never be corrupt, that mob mentality is acute, and that justice shall always prevail. Maupassant takes these flawed thoughts and exposes them through his juxtaposition of the introductory notes on the magistrate’s teary, respected funeral and the closing remarks on how the magistrate’s words were that of a “monstrous lunatic”. He sends out the warning that one’s one logic may not always be correct. For example, just because Muggles seem to hold all of the traits that I prize in my Death Eaters – they are corruptible, have a thirst for blood, and a hunger for violence – still does not change the fact that dirty filth runs in their non-magical veins and that they are all subhuman beings who must be eradicated. See? I have principles and see through extraneous inner logic, something that the fad crazed youth seem to lack and would do well to learn.
Despite its age, “The Diary of a Madman” could make for quite a hot beach read among Muggle youth. It’s short, seemingly simplistic, and violent. A quick and dirty read that is easily accessible and at the same time, manages to impose upon these heathens some much needed wisdom as to the inner dealings of their own mind and their corrupting society. It’s a pity that all of this knowledge will be of no good to them once they are eradicated once and for all by a deviously cunning and brilliantly superior wizard overlord because they fail to see the truth before their eyes (which is a shame, I was quite beginning to like Suzanne Collins). But nevertheless, all of the highly relevant issues of desensitization to violence, madness as a product of sound logic but flawed morals, and society being the force that could ultimately destroy them all, shall be lost to them for, alas, corpses cannot read...
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